Dear Sol,
Congratulations on turning 21! I am sure by now the giving of a mirror in the shape of a key and the yard glass are traditions of the past.
So instead I will give you a reflection on the past and some advice for the future. It is free and up to what you do with it.
Let’s start at the beginning. As you know, you were born on December 4 2007 at 4.50pm, making your appearance just before the end of a typical working day. Very civilized. You were due on December the 20th but decided to grace us with your appearance earlier. Having gotten to know you over the past 7 years this is very much in line with your character. You are a very keen, sometimes impatient little boy. You are very enthusiastic about life and like to get stuck into things. Your tenacity is unlike anything I have ever seen in another living person. I hope this unique quality serves you well one day! Who knows, maybe it already is. You were a very much wanted and longed for baby. The mixture of delight and worry of the news of a Christmas baby is still very fresh. We followed your progress and by about week 9 or so the book said you were the size of a chickpea. Your father latched onto that and a nickname was born. Are we still calling you that? I very much doubt. Having said that, it is a very Thomson behaviour to nickname people.
Due to the result of some screening tests I had an amniocentesis. We were offered the opportunity of finding out your gender. We were very surprised that you were a boy and over the moon. We made a short list of names: Otto, Barnaby, Milo and Solomon. You will probably be laughing at them (as I am now in hindsight). When we saw your sweet face we knew you were definitely not an Otto or Barnaby. We took the risk of giving you both Grandfathers names as middle names. Your Dada protested but he was just feeling very humbled that we used his name. It also turns out that your name has a Muslim equivalent Suleman, which your Dada calls you with pride. Even your Granda Thomson would call you Suleman. He also delighted in saying your full name over and over emphasising the Naseem.
You were only 2 months old when we got a call saying that Granda wasn't well. He asked me and your two Aunties to come back from the UK. You were amazing on the long haul flight and lots of random people commented on how good you were. We arrived in Palmerston North airport and Granny and Uncle Campbell took us straight up to the hospital. Granda held you on his lap and kept saying ‘Chickpea, chickpea’. It was lovely to see the joy in his face. I, in the meantime almost passed out from shock and jet lag on the chair next to the bed. We stayed for over 6 weeks that first visit. Granda would come in and pick you up from the travel cot and take you to his bed. He put on his wee radio and lay you on the bed and chatted to you. We have video footage. You will have seen the curry madras episode!
You were a great sleeper, we never had any problems with you as a baby. But the worm turned around about 2 years old. Your character was really developing. You liked to entertain us with your recounts of various audio books. My favourite was ‘Pooh is that you Bertie’ complete with the Yorkshire Granny accent.
Your tenacity got stronger and I often likened you to a dog with a bone. You never gave up and had such a sharp memory so we couldn't count on that to distract you from your mission. At the time of writing this you want the following things:
Earrings, a motorbike, a dog. You also want to be ‘an earring gunner’ (your words) when you grow up. I ask myself how I created such a bogan .
You are kind and caring, extremely passionate and doggedly loyal to your family. You won’t hear a bad word said about anyone in your family. Even one time I jokingly said William was a pain you were on me like a tonne of bricks. What an amazing quality for one so young. I am sure you are still like it now.
You promised me you would always want to cuddle me. I reassured you that there would be a time when you wouldn't be cool with that. You are already starting to show signs of ‘don’t be embarrassing Mum’ and you are only 6. You turn 7 this week and you’re a box of birds with excitement.
I know it’s a cliche but I really don’t mind what you do as long as you’re happy. Having said that an earring gunner may be a bit of a non-starter. What a huge burden of a wish to put on your child…to want them to be happy! I realise this is massive and there will be dark and light times in your life. Just remember that the contrast is necessary. It can be summed up nicely by a quote I like ‘the art of life is using the shadows to emphasise the highlights’ Try and live by this when the dark creeps in and remember it is not there to stay.
Seize the day! Enjoy being young. Be brave (I wanna see you be brave by Sara Bareilles btw is currently your favourite song) and follow your passions. Be confident in yourself and don’t let fear hold you back. Open yourself up to new experiences. This is the way you learn and grow. Don’t beat yourself up for your mistakes (refer to last sentence). I do worry you will as you already get very cross if you make a mistake. I hope you've gotten over this at age 21. Maintain your loyalty to family, your ties to your cousins James, William and Sarah’s baby (due next month) will be very important to you in years to come.
Have fun but please be safe. If you become a parent one day you will understand that you never stop worrying about your children.
Fall in love, experience heartbreak and feel these things with all your being. Choose wisely who you give your heart to in the end. Don’t bring any girls (or boys) home that have crap, chavy names please.
I don’t expect to live vicariously through you so don’t worry. I’ll be proud of you no matter what. I love watching you play touch rugby and I have never, ever been a rugby fan of any description. I’m behind you all the way.
Most of all remember you are loved. Your dear Granda loved you so much. Treasure all the gifts he gave you when you were a baby. You take Granny’s breath away all the time. She thinks you are an ‘old soul’ or more likely now an old Sol . Embrace your Pakistani heritage and learn all you can about your origins. Your Dada loves his Petru. You are Nana's little treasure and even though you’re not little now you will always be that in her eyes. No doubt you will be towering over Aunty Sarah by now. Appreciate and learn from her how to be strong and driven and please try not to swear, fart or burp around her. She really is not amused (but I am ). You have such a close bond with your cousin James. Appreciate his gentle nature. Learn too from Aunty Moggy that hard work and determination to reach your goals are worth it. Enjoy her skiing.
Your Aunty Nance loves you to bits. Enjoy her uniqueness an me heartiness.
Appreciate Uncle Campbell being one of the few males in your life. Go fishing, drink beer and do farts! All good with him. Aunty Saijia has taught you a lot and has been so loving and tolerant. Your bond with William is lovely to see. Please don't teach him any bad habits, his Father will do that without your help
Dad and I love you so much and you have been the source of much joy (and worry). We will enjoy celebrating your milestones and will always be in your heart.
Love Mum xxx
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