Sunday, 11 October 2020

Because I could not stop for death

 

                         

 

How prepared are we for end of life stuff? It’s never be more pertinent than right now as we’ll soon have the chance to vote for the End of Life Choice Act in the upcoming referendum. Let’s examine death on demand.

 

It was a standard pre-spring day with the mind-lashing mix of wind and rain where neither take the lead. Spring was trying so hard to be sprung. The sweet scent of blossom caressing the temperate air, hailing the arrival hope, still sitting in wait.

Inside the house the hospital bed stands alone, a sterile and stark platform that holds no hope. No wonder my father runs from it every chance he can, back to his own familiar bed. For he too knows what this means. The palliative care nurse softly speaks to me ‘what he is experiencing now is similar to child birth pain’. I feel sick. This is hard to witness. I have given birth only 2 month before. I remember. My father has mesothelioma, a malignant tumour that is caused by inhaled asbestos. There is no cure, only the possibility to gain months. He is fighting it, he wants to live, and my baby is here to spur him on.

 

Euthanasia was never discussed around my father, not only because it wasn’t an option then but his desire to live was so strong. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have made the choice to die by euthanasia.  Will that be part of the new rhetoric if the End of Life Choice Act 2019 is passed in October?  Will this be written on the death certificate? In this year's General Election, you can vote in a referendum on whether you support this act.  But is it throwing up more questions than it has answers?

 

This is something I am sitting discussing with ‘The Aficionado of Death’ (self-titled) pathologist Cynric Temple-Camp. In his role as pathologist, Cynric is often the last advocate for the dead. ‘So you’re a story teller for the dead and I am a story teller for the living’. We agree. Cynric bears an uncanny resemblance to my late father. I feel some level of comfort in this but I’m relieved he has a nicely clipped South African accent rather than the melodic Scottish sing-song of my father.

 

‘I guess I won’t be leading from the front’ Cynric states along with his deep, dark -humoured laugh. His signature methinks. His humour is as sharp as a scalpel. ‘I guess as a pathologist I won’t have to’  ‘End of life is not my thing’ It’s got me thinking too. Where will it take place?  Will a Doctor, who in their very heart is sworn to ‘do no harm’, find some cognitive dissonance with this? It goes against all they have learned and no doubt wholly believe. Furthermore, you need the opinion of two Doctors according to the Act. This feels like a lot of pressure on Doctors.

 

Cynric spends a lot of time with the dead. And he’s ‘quite intrigued by all the aspects of death, how we handle it, how we see it and relate to it’. He strikes me as more than quite intrigued. Cynric is captivating and compassionate in his advocacy for the dead. ‘You can’t help but look at someone who has died without a sense of loss’ he says. I wonder, but don’t ask, if he ever suffers from compassion fatigue. When it comes to euthanasia he has questions ‘are people who are euthanised going to need an autopsy? What’s the protocol? Do the Doctors sign the death certificate? Can Doctors therefore be conscientious objectors?’ It is certainly food for thought.

 

According to the Act a conscientious objection is when a person refuses to carry out a procedure based on their personal beliefs. That is a tough call. I wonder, will participating Doctors and families be offered professional counselling to abate the tide of trauma that may be left in deaths wake? I imagine the death scene, an atmosphere of permanent mundaneness .Like going to the shops. Yet not returning. Those remaining reeling in the finality of it.

 

 

There is talk of a ‘slippery slope’ A slippery slope is often viewed as a logical fallacy in which a party asserts that a small first step leads to a chain of related events culminating in some significant effect. Maybe I am short sighted but I think this is a bit of a red herring. . A slippery slope to what? You can only die once or so I believe?  Or is it the idea that it will have a domino effect? Are we sheep? There would be strict criteria around eligibility for this option. We must question our current system with our woefully high suicide rates. It leads me to think the slipperiest slope is the one that is currently heavily embedded in our culture already. We swim with sharks when we fail to talk honestly about the hard topics. End. Of .Life.

Cynric tells me how we already sanitise death, with euphemisms such as ‘they went to sleep’ or I lost a friend, and the classic ‘if something should happen to me’. They didn’t go to sleep, nor are lost, they have simply died. But often not simply too. Often in insufferable pain. Can this be avoided with euthanasia? What if the diagnosis given is incorrect?

 

In his role as pathologist in the Manawatu he spends most of his time working with the living, carrying out biopsies and analysis of specimen. The Doctor is the gatekeeper between him and the patient. But he will be the one to discover if there is something sinister lurking.

Nonetheless, when a body arrives for autopsy it’s a different story. It is the unexpected and suspicious deaths that come his way, so he knows ‘it has not been a good story. Nobody wants to deal with that’ Cynric conveys a compassionate responsibility to the families. Although he is not required to he often meets with the family of the deceased so they know the story of how they died. ‘It’s painful’ he says but they thank him for telling them as they often didn’t know. It brings a kind of catharsis in the grief process for many loved ones.

 

My father did die in his home, with his dearly loved wife and four adult children keeping vigil. I was on nightshift the night he died. I was talking to him from the sofa and saying it’s OK to leave now. I may have spoken some French. And then he stopped breathing. It was both ordinary and beautiful.

 

 

 

Jeanna Thomson

 

            To find out more go to: https://www.referendums.govt.nz/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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