Nepal

I am reflecting on the horrific disaster that has occurred in Nepal.  The horror is unimaginable yet I can visualise it as best as someone who is not there can.  I can picture my old place of work reduced to rubble, one of two archaic desktop computers smashed to pieces.   I can see in my mind’s eye my favourite momo khaaja (dumpling snack) place flattened, the lovely owners struggling to make sense of what’s happened to their livelihood, their home.  I know Durbar Square well, I can see it now on the news and in the film going through my head on loop.  I can see the busy Kantipath road overflowing with panicked people, the sound of horns (of the few vehicles still running) beeping desperately. Dogs barking and circling getting nowhere.    The chaos, the disorder, the turmoil. The fear and the grief etched upon the faces of thousands of people.  The sheer shock of it all.

                                                       

This is because I have lived there.  I have lived there, worked there, made friends there, got sick there, laughed and cried and got told I had black teeth there! I loved and was loved there, got angry and frustrated there, clowned around and raised my voice there.  I love Nepal.  I love the people, the food and the simplicity of many things in a country where the conditions can be very challenging. The way most people just get on with the minutiae of their lives with such a positive attitude.   Most Nepali folk don’t engage in navel gazing.  That is a western ‘indulgence’.  I recall being told by a Nepali colleague that I think too much, two minutes a day is all you need.  This was a woman who got up at 5am to prepare daal bhatt for a family of 21, came to work and then did the same in the evening.  Day in day out, no weekends off, no public holidays.  Always smiling, laughing and telling me to stop thinking.  Right now I am worrying about things that may never happen.  Such a waste of head space. I can hear her voice telling me to stop thinking and her cheeky face laughing as she knows she's caught me out-again!

My thoughts too go to my friend Jina and her family.  I worked with Jina in the District Education Office in Bahktapur.  Jina was my regulator, guide and friend.  When I would plan meetings and no one would turn up she would sense my rising frustration and rally the troops.  In her bossy little way she was able to illustrate to me that A) Time works differently in Nepal, not better, not worse but differently. B) On the whole anger is a waste of energy.  I was grateful to her that she could read my mood.  I wasn't grateful, after returning from a 10 day trek, to be told by Jina that I had gotten fat! Moto!  Moto Duck.  The Duck went trekking and came back fat were almost her exact words, give or take the duck part.  Yeah thanks mate!  But this searing honesty is such a refreshing characteristic that many Nepalese possess.  No need to ask 'does my bum look big in this?' rest assured you will soon be told.  

I remember once being in the work jeep.  We were on our way from Bhaktapur to Kathmandu.  In the back was Beer Singh Dhami, another colleague and the Duck.  I was luxuriating in the comfort of travelling like this as opposed to being on the Bhaktatpur Express bus (my usual mode of transport).  Then we stopped and picked up someone else, getting a tad tight in the back.  Then we stopped again and again and again.  Pilling the people in like reverse jenga.  At one stage I was blamed for the squashiness in the back but by now I had learned to teflon coat and let it fly off in an instant and if the need arose deflect it right back.  Deflection would include replies such as 'have you got a mirror in your house?'

                                                           Jina and her family 2006

The Nepali people I encountered were warm, generous, funny and, with that trademark honesty, very unique and special.  I am at a loss as to what I can do.   I am strikingly aware that as I sit  now I do so with the luxury of a roof over my head, clean running water and plenty of food, even plenty of choices.  I can sit at my laptop writing this and contemplate whether I will have a glass of syrah or cab sav tonight!  I am a million miles away from these people, this pandemonium that has been thrust upon them.  I guess in some way I always was.  It was my choice to be there, to live on $5 a day.  It was always my choice. I experienced the extravagance that having choices provides.  Another privilege of the West.  Below is a replica peacock window I was given from the District Education office when I left Nepal. The peacock window is a Newar window unique to Bhaktapur and sometimes known as the 'Mona Lisa' of Nepal.

Peacock Window replica

Inscription on the back of the window

I am also made acutely aware of the fact that this tragedy strikes so deeply in me because I have been there,  lived there and made it my home for over a year.  I am not entirely comfortable with this though.  Why do I need some personal connection to a place to be able to have this reaction?  Are we, as human beings, that selfish?  Just because I know the place a little and have lived and worked and been told I had black teeth there does it validate it any more for me? 

I spoke to a friend just now about this concept and I am hoping it is self preservation.  If you had a 'personal' response to all the bad news in the world you would never want to get out of bed again.  It would be almost impossible to live if you had a deep level of empathy for all the terrible stuff that happens in the world.  I am also keenly aware that I have, in some small way contradicted my last blog post talking about bias in the news etc.  There is an element of internal incongruity for me.  I will have to deal with that.  I am lucky, I still have choice.  My worries are trivial, petty and most of all frivolous in comparison.                                                        

                                                       

I feel so incredibly sad for  Nepal and the Nepalese people.  So much of their livelihood depends on the tourist trade.  They have been knocked back to square one and they were only at square three.  The recovery alone is unfathomable!  This is a set back of gargantuan proportions.  I hope that on this long, arduous  road to recovery, that the people maintain their true spirit.  The warmth and kindness will remain.  I long for this recovery to be as speedy and as efficient as possible.  I long to wrap Nepal in a blanket of love and hold her hand in support and comfort.  

Namaste

#nepalearthquake #vso #livinginnepal #lovenepal